I love my followers but sometimes I make a brilliant post that’s some serious renaissance shit and they just like it and move on like come on that was funny why you gotta do me like this? whatever
one time I had a dream that I wished animals could talk and it came true, but my dog wouldn’t stop singing that rick astley song so I murdered it and I woke up praying to god that I didn’t actually kill my dog
I hate when I visit my relatives and all the grand kids have to get together and take a photo and me and my brother always make a cheesy or dumb face and all the aunts and uncles are like “noooo this is serious” which is funny because how the fuck do you smile seriously? So we keep making semi-stupid faces and the adults keep yelling at us and I’m like “YOU’RE GOING TO BE DEAD IN LIKE 10 YEARS WHO CARES?!”
sometimes i want to look hardcore and sometimes i want to look like a precious forest child and sometimes i want to look like a celestial being made of starlight and constellations
David Bowie doesn’t have this problem
but david bowie is an alien so it’s a lot easier for him
I guess somewhere down the line I became okay with trans people. Like I was in line at the grocery buying tampons for a friend and this shithead guy behind me said some rude shit and I was all “What? You think it’s funny I got a vagina? You think that’s funny?” and I got really angry and told him that just because I look like a guy doesn’t mean you can degrade me for having a period and the guy apologized over and over and when I left the store it hit me that I have a penis.
i hear auld lang syne maybe once a year, but then i have it stuck in my head for the next 12 months.